Connection over Perfection

I’m really lucky to do a job that I love but having some well-earned time off over this festive period is doing my body and mind the world of good.

Spending time with my own boys is incredibly special, particularly as my eldest dog is now 13. I know I’m biased, but I genuinely feel like I have the best dogs on the planet and guess what, they aren’t perfect and I wouldn’t want them to be.

You see, my aim isn’t to have the best trained dogs, it’s to have the best relationship I possibly can with them.

Whilst out on a walk yesterday, I saw a woman give the harshest of lead corrections to her dog, simply for showing an interest in another dog that was walking by. If that wasn’t enough, she shouted at her dog and continued to do so while her dog was cowering in front of her. It broke my heart and the only thing that made me feel better was the fact that my dog’s will never have to fear me doing that to them.

A dog can be taught to be obedient and follow cues, but if this is done without consideration for how they feel, they can become confused, shut down, disconnected, suppressed, live under pressure or in fear. A dog who knows a hundred cues but doesn’t feel safe hasn’t truly learned, they’ve simply complied.

That kind of training has never been my goal. A dog who is expected to listen or perform perfectly in a human world 100% of the time isn’t important to me. I’d rather have a dog who trusts me, feels safe and feels understood. So yes, I care more about how my dogs feel than how they perform.

I want a dog who feels safe enough to communicate even when that communication is inconvenient or messy. My goal, beyond any training, is for my dogs to trust that I’ll meet their needs, that their emotions will be heard rather than punished and that when they make mistakes, they can do so without fear of losing security or love.

To me, training isn’t about control, dominance or proving authority, it’s about creating a shared language, one where I understand their motivations and emotions. It’s about guiding rather than commanding and supporting rather than suppressing.

When the relationship with your dog comes first, cooperation grows naturally because trust and safety already exist. 

I’m not interested in turning a living, thinking being into a checklist of behaviours. I want a dog who is curious, confident, able to make choices, feels secure enough to explore the world and a dog who looks to me not out of obligation but out of connection.

I don’t want robot dogs who simply obey. My goal isn’t perfection - it’s a partnership built on trust over time and reinforced through consistency, patience and empathy. I choose connection every single day, even when it’s messy, slow or imperfect and as a result, my dogs choose to follow me not out of fear or habit, but out of belief in the relationship we’ve built.

I choose connection over perfection EVERY SINGLE TIME!